Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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