How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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