You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
