How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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