I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
