Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i think my cat just said my name.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize