miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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