Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
