Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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