in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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