I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
