Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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