I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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