sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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