she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
