My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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