hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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