I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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