he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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