Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize