Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
