so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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