i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
