I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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