Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
