I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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