i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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