Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
