We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
