Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
