Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
