That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
