Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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