There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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