i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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