if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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