So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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