I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
