Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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