Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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