I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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