I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize