We tried having a conversation with our noses.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
