I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
