Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
