Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
