i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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