if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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