you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
