Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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