Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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