I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
