Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
