Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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