it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
