Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
