There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You need Xanax blowdarts
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
