I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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