you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
