i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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