are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
