dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
