win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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