Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
