OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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