I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
