Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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