It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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