somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
