i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
