the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
